As you navigate through your twenties, a lot of people and opportunities come in and out of your life. While this can be overwhelming at times – it’s a great opportunity to begin to build solid relationships that will serve you for the remainder of your life. Even if the relationships don’t last – the skills you develop and the awareness you create will help you with new relationships down the road. Below is a list of relationships I feel are the most beneficial to cultivate in your twenties.
This is a person who supports you 100%. They are entirely behind you and don’t doubt your skills and abilities to carry out your dreams. The energy of this relationship is positive and motivating. Conversations might center on your hopes and dreams – and any crazy ideas you might have. This person might be a friend – or they might be a family member. You feel comfortable going to this person with any idea, as they never pass judgement, express jealousy or try and change your mind.
Cultivating a relationship with a true cheerleader will provide you with support, motivation and positivity. Finding someone who is genuinely excited about the possibilities in your life will give you energy and inspiration to play big in the world. When you are feeling down – this person will help you pick yourself back up.
The Challenger is not someone who doubts your abilities but they do challenge you to play bigger. They won’t accept everything you say to them and might question why you are doing something. Don’t mistake The Challenger for someone who is jealous or envious. The Challenger has your best interests at heart, but wants to see you succeed to levels beyond your current vision. The energy of this relationship is exciting, motivating and occasionally frustrating. You might hit a rough spot where your Challenger is pushing you harder than you want to be pushed. Conversations might center on what else you can do, what you are going to do next and what you haven’t tried yet.
It is so important to pick the right Challenger for this role. Someone who has a vested interest in you and your definition of success is the best fit. This person might be a friend – but is often a family member or partner. They always have your back and are ready to catch you if you fall – but they are the first ones to help you brush yourself off before you try again. Having the right challenger in your life will push you beyond what you thought possible and into the extraordinary.
The Financial Guide
Setting up a strong financial foundation for yourself in your twenties is a lot easier if you have a great guide. Cultivating this relationship in your twenties will set you up for success in the decades to come – it's true what they say about starting early, so make sure you find someone who can help motivate you to do so. The relationship you have with your Financial Guide might be at a distance, or it might be very personal. As long as you are finding trusted information you can apply to your specific situation and you are making changes (or maintaining behaviours) that set you up in the strongest financial position possible – you have found your guide. Don’t expect the guide to do the work for you. No one else can save or spend your money for you but they can make helpful suggestions on what you might do.
This person doesn’t need to be a certified Financial Advisor or Accountant. It can be someone you know who does a great job handling their money – or even an online money guru as long as you can trust the advice they are giving you. If you truly want to build wealth in your life – look for someone who has done that. If you want to focus on making enough money to travel the world, search for that person. This relationship is highly individualized, as money situations are so unique. Having a strong financial representative in your life will help you enormously on your journey to living your best life.
A lot of twenty-somethings put off making serious career decisions – but I think this is a mistake. Why would you give up 5-10 years of possibility? Often twenty-somethings shy away from decisions because they aren’t clear on a direction, and that’s natural. Avoiding a topic won’t solve it, which is why I suggest seeking a Professional Mentor. This mentor can guide you by providing information and discussion about your possible future direction. If you are clear on your career path – this mentor can help you accelerate your success through advice, practice and networking connections. This relationship is a professional one, and a chance for you to be a learner. Conversations might center on building your network, furthering your education, dealing with difficult conversations or situations.
You might have several professional mentors in your twenties as you learn more about where you want to go with your work life – this is okay. Make sure you approach each relationship wholeheartedly and carry any lessons forward into new conversations. Having started this professional relationship early will help you grow as an employee or entrepreneur (or both!). You possess more information with which to make the best decisions going forward, making sure you select the best personal path.
Personal Mentor or Coach
Just like the Professional Mentor, a Personal Mentor or Coach is so important to your development in your twenties. Having someone objective who is able to assist you in making the best choices for your desired life path is invaluable. This is another relationship many twenty-somethings put off as they don’t feel like the know enough to get started. Getting started is the hard part! The rest is just discovery. Conversations with this person will probably center on personal goals, dreams and the actions required to achieve them. There will be a level of accountability in this relationship as it fosters productivity and progress.
I would strongly advise against waiting until something is “wrong” to seek out this relationship. It’s okay to want to go from “good” to “great” by working with a mentor or coach and often this is where the most valuable work happens. Keep an eye out for mentors or coaches who speak to the energy and essence you want in your life, and have a conversation with anyone who you think would be a good fit. All coaches should offer you a free Exploratory or Discovery Call (as I do with my clients), before you begin a partnership. For more information on how Life Coaching might specifically help you – you can read my post What exactly is a Life Coach?
As you can see, each of these roles contribute value to living a balanced and whole life. We need motivation, challenge, security, education and drive to reach our goals and live our best lives.
Take a moment and scan through the existing relationships in your life. Are all of these areas currently covered? Is there a critical relationship missing? Ask your friends or family members who fills these roles in their lives and learn what you can in the process.
Experiment with different individuals in these roles to find the best fit for you and make sure you have fun cultivating these amazing relationships along the way.